Repentance
I remember. I truly do; and when I doubt it, there's a dream or a word confirming it. There's no escape. The angels were assembled, and the Presence said whom shall I send? There was an uncomfortable pause, and everyone else was turning away, and the focus fell on me. What else could I do?! I had to say it; for it was clearly expected of me to say something. I said, "Send me." Now, don't think I therefore claim to be messiah; for I am not. My job is to find the tools and demonstrate their use. That I have done. I'm eighty in two months. My success or failure is not in my hands, but in yours. https://crowndiamond.org
This is the answer I received: "I'm very challenged. There are ones who don't want me to overcome."
I knew my answer had to be spontaneous, not contrived; and this is what came out:
Allow me to share a thought that's not yet complete: "When you shall see the abomination that causes desolation standing in the holy place? The one who gives his power to the beast? Against which none can wage war?" Why stand you gazing into the heavens or into the murky conflicts of Earth? Your view to heaven will be blocked. That's a door no man can open. Your view of Earth will find no lasting focus: Is it Putin, Netanyahu, Charlemagne? Yes, but certainly no; for that's a deadly game of unmusical chairs. There is prophecy. All prophecy is fulfilled within you; for it's written, whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; but only if your focus is without. There is prophecy, and there is the effect of every vision. Charlemagne was an effect, Putin, Trump, the good Queen James. Poor twisted souls! They may have the power of the warhead, but they're driven by the darkness in their souls: powerless except for the void that passes through them. When you see him standing in the holy place where he ought not be? The place where your soul is still virginal, clean, untouched, hammered daily but standing strong beyond all possibility of understanding? When you see him standing there, it is you: the shadow you; the rational you; the obedient/disobedient-but-always-driven you. It's your rational mind, and it gives its power to the beast: literally, the beast, your physical body. It refuses to let go. It's Pharaoh of old, and should you break free and head for the wilderness where you can sort things out and get things straight, it will surely follow you. But hey! Take it to Yardan and the baptism of Yahuchanan, the baptism of repentance. Repentance isn't regret. It's surrender. Abject surrender. It's not for man to direct his steps. As sensible as it is, you can't take the bit between your teeth. Like Jeremiah says, "Turn us, and we shall be turned." You can't even turn yourself. The only thing you can do is make a gesture, like Queen Ester. Acknowledge the Presence, even if you can't spot it for the moment. Claim your right to be chariot of the Presence. That's it. Do that, and it is done.
Reading it now, my thought is, "We believe; help free us of unbelief. We would turn, but we just can't manage it on our own. We hear the pipes and see the dancing. We need the touch upon the shoulder, inviting us to join in, taking the lead. Turn us, and we will be turned.
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