The Projection of Ham

An amicable fellow by nature j, Ham became darkly emotional m during celebration j of the escape  from Nod m and its sucking j  waters m. He had an overriding need to distance himself j from the memory of those who had perished m.

Gematria 48   jm:
The flood and the losses it brought m had depressed him j, and he was disturbed primarily because he had lost m so many friends j. He thought that he would survive, if he could just forget m and begin to look ahead j;

Numerology  21   ak   >   12   by   >   3   g:
but it was becoming increasingly apparent that it was the overthrow of expectations k that so angered him a, causing him to lose interest y in personal b betterment g.

Targum: His outlook had jailed him j with a sense of betrayal m. It was disappointing that he had labored so long and so hard j, only to be so inconvenienced m!

 He would have to start all over again. And then! To be expected to slave even harder to get back to where you, once, had been j?! An irresponsible m man, Ham’s imagination j was killing him m.